What a busy and emotional week it has been. My baby son Evan has turned 1. I can’t believe it has been a year already. I tried to savor every moment of his babyhood…with a preschooler and a toddler mixed in to make it so much more interesting. My heart aches because we are quite sure that we are done having babies. the emotional and physical toll of the last 3 1/2 years has been tremendous. We are ready to move forward and focus on the 3 miracles in front of us and all the daily ones, too. But yet, there is still an aching. I would not trade this last season of our lives for anything…it has made us who we are and has given us all 4 of our beautiful children. But to give up the dream of having more babies… what a hard thing for me. But God has given me a “peace that passes understanding ” on this issue. I know in my heart that we are making the decision that is right for us. For our family and our life. It is still hard. I miss Brennan.
thoughts April 1, 2006