burlap and cashmere

the fabric of my life

The Love of a Mother July 28, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — burlapandcashmere @ 7:36 pm

Last nite on Primetime on ABC they had a segment on Andrea Yates. During her first trial, I was glued to the television and wanted to know all that I could about this woman. The idea that a mommy could drown all 5 of her babies in cold blood was so unbelievable to me. What had gone so terribly wrong in her life and mental state that could cause this tragedy? Early on in the trial, it was mentioned that her husband didn’t believe her at first, that he actually told her if she would just focus and apply herself more, that she would change. It wasn’t until after a suicide attempt and a hospital staythat she began to get some real help. Even then, she didn’t take her medication and continued to spiral down. It was also mentined that she was having hallucinations, but neither her or Rusty ,who should have been her greatest advocate, told a doctor.
The doctors told them to stop having children. Just 8 months later, she again was pregnant. At her husbands urging. Then when Mary was just 6 months old, She killed all five of her babies.
Let me say that I strongly believe that if her husband had simply listened to her and got her all of the help that she needed , his children would still be alive.
Yes, there are other factors involved. Like the fact that he made her live in a 350 sq.ft. bus with 4 children. And that she clung to an extremist “preacher” and his “teachings” . If Rusty and the others in her life had paid a little more attention, they would have seen the warning signs. Her mental state was in such a state that she actually believed that she was saving her children from hell.
This story makes my heart very sad and angry. If you are a mommy with thoughts of hurting your baby or yourself, please tell some one, anyone who will listen. If you are the spouse or close friend of a new mommy ask them how they are REALLY doing. Look for signs of abnormal things and ask them. They might be just waiting for someone else to notice how desperate they are because they are too ashamed or scared to say anything.
It is always brave to ask for help.

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